Among the 15,000 or so delegates at Sapphire 2008 there are only about 600 lucky people from the UK who, as customers or prospective customers of software giant SAP, get to attend the annual user conference hosted by the German firm – this year on home ground in Berlin.
So, if you aren't one of those lucky 600, here is Computing's guide to what you are missing out on – and given that most major IT supplier conferences run very much to the same themes, Sapphire acts here purely as a case study of what you can expect from any other similar event from whatever vendors you use.
Getting there
Book early and check in online – every flight to the destination city will be packed on the day you would like to travel. This is not because everyone on board is going to the same conference as you, it is simply an irrefutable fact of IT supplier conference travel. Leave it too late and the best flights are gone, leaving you, in this case, to wake up at 6am on a Sunday morning to make it to trusty Terminal Five for a 9am plane.
As technology experts you will, of course, also practice what you preach and check in online in advance. Unless, of course, you are the friendly PR manager from the vendor who found out on arrival at Heathrow that the flight was overbooked. She was the lucky one though – squeezed into the last seat in business class with 10 minutes to spare. Unlike the reporter from, erm, one of Computing's rivals, who enjoyed T5 for an extra couple of hours after being bumped to the next flight.
Registration
Always, always register for the event in advance. Unlike the journalist from Ireland who, quite reasonably, assumed his local PR liaison had done so on his behalf (that's generally the way it works when you're a journalist – PRs come in very handy sometimes). You can therefore guess why it is important to make sure you are registered in advance, especially if you would like a hotel room while you're there.
Don't leave it to the morning of the first day to get your conference pass and obligatory free backpack - unless you want to queue with 14,999 others for an hour or so.
Check out the corporate colours of the vendor in advance. At SAP, the garish yellow lanyard hanging round your neck for the duration of your time at the event may just clash with your outfit.
And don't put anything remotely valuable or useful in your conference backpack. It only takes two or more people to stop at any stand or presentation in the exhibition hall to find a small pile of completely identical bags on the floor, most of which will be picked up by a different person to the one who placed it there.
The venue - orientation
The UK is distinguished by its lack of the sort of mammoth conference venues required to host major vendor get-togethers such as Sapphire. Most big European cities have them, as does every US city. You think the National Exhibition Centre in Birmingham is big? It would fit several times over into these places.
The venue maps however, have rarely been designed by anyone that has actually been to the venue, but they look very pretty and geometric. Spend time studying them. (That sentence should have been prefixed with "You will have to…")
Nightlife
One rule: Remember to take off your garish yellow lanyard and conference pass before you go out for the evening, or become the target of sniggers all night from passers by and fellow delegates as your badge announce your name and company to the locals everywhere you go. There's always one.
Remember also the next morning to bring your garish yellow lanyard and conference pass with you when you leave your hotel room, so you don't have to run back and get it and keep all your colleagues waiting in the hotel lobby (guilty as charged, m'lud).
At the conference
If you come in a group, make sure all your colleagues have prepared their Buzzword Bingo cards before the opening keynote presentation by the IT vendor chief executive.
The winner today would be anyone who picked the following:
- Adaptive
- Enabling
- Business model innovation
- Collaboration
- Strategic agility (a worry for those who are only just coming to terms with the fact their business is meant to be "agile", I'm afraid we've already moved on to "strategic agility").
- And my personal favourite so far at Sapphire – closed loop business performance optimisation.
But particular credit must go to SAP co-chief executive Leo Apotheker who, during the post-keynote press conference (see below) managed to get "end to end", "leverage", "excellence", best in class" and "solutions" all into one sentence. I'd like to think he did it for a bet, but sadly I doubt that to be the case.
Be prepared also for the product demo during the keynote – always delivered by The Wittiest Person In The Company.
Be also prepared, as delegates should have been today, for the eventuality that the product demo may, disturbingly, turn out to be more interesting than the speech itself.
Here also is a special warning for UK conference delegates – if you go to a US vendor event, especially if it is hosted in their home town, you may be expected to contribute to audience participation at the start of a keynote presentation. Americans love it, Brits just cringe with embarrassment.
In one memorable case in my experience, you may also find the US vendor executive thanking you, God, his work colleagues, and his wife and children (all by name) for giving him the opportunity to present to you and to be part of this great company.
The chief executives
At Sapphire, delegates are spoilt – here we have two co-chief executives to hear from, instead of the usual one. At Oracle events you come close, as Larry Ellison and his ego typically present together.
Chief executives of most IT companies have a common trait – the ability to speak for a very long time without actually saying anything. If a scientist could capture and recycle the hot air generated by IT vendor chief executives around the world, it could neutralise all the carbon emissions produced by flying 15,000 delegates to their conferences.
The press conference
And finally, to a section that would not be relevant for most delegates to prepare for the conference, but from a journalist's perspective is a critical part of the show.
Essential features of the press conference include:
- The planted question from a friendly local journalist that allows the chief executive(s) to explain what a great company they run. This is especially noticeable if the vendor is from the US and is hosting the show in their home country / town.
- The question supposedly "submitted on the web" that allows the chief executive(s) to outline a key part of the strategy that nobody else would ask about.
- The journalist from a small country who asks the global chief executive(s) about their plans for his country. Don't bother – they haven't even heard of the country.
- The incredibly technical question, often from someone who introduces themselves as "a blogger" that no vendor chief executive (no matter how many of them you have) is every likely to be able to answer. (Tip to chief executives – always have a chief technology officer standing by just in case – SAP did, it worked).
- The rush from the conference room to the limited number of tables / power points / PCs afterwards to be the first to get online and file a story.
It is also worth mentioning here another feature of the journalist's role at these events – the press room will always be at the furthest possible point away from where all the action is taking place at the conference (literally, in some cases at the gigantic US conference venues, perhaps 10 minutes walk away). This is done, presumably, to minimise the damage journalists can do by mingling with real conference delegates.
And so, to Sapphire 2008 and the real business of what the world's largest and most successful business application software supplier is up to...
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